Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
