I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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