Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
