Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
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