Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
