I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
