youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
