you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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