I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
