can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize