Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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