Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
