i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
