I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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