just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
