If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
is that a dick in a sweater?
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