Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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