she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
