She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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