you guys were way drunker than both of me
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
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