So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
