I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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