I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
