take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
