Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
