awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
