Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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