Non-Jews are for practice
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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