This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
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He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
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He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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