Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i was born a porn star she said
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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