We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
