That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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