Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
