I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
either way he was missing a nipple.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
