ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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