so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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