Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
