This girl is more easily done than said...
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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