i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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