Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
