too bad you live with your parents still
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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