Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize