first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Let's get the cat blown out
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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