Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
