I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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