We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
