I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
