So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
