My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I smell stomach acid.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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