The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
