another moral hangover. fuck.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
