It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
