I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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