I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"