I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
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I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
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I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.