Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.