I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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