11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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