a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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